4 Reasons Commuting by Train Trumps Flying

I'm heading home from an 11-day vacation.  First I flew to San Diego, then after a week I flew to Philadelphia. My final travel venture finds me on a train heading to Boston where I'll catch a bus back to New Hampshire before driving home to Maine.  I must confess, traveling by train is by far my preferred method of travel.  Compared to flying, it is heavenly.  As I sit comfortably in my seat I recall the abject situations I have endured lately when I fly.

1 - The Exorbitant Cost Includes Just My Seat

This is perhaps my biggest gripe.  My flight to California cost around $400.  If I wanted food, beverage, even checked luggage, I needed to pay extra.  Seriously?  When someone boards a plane, it is because he or she is traveling a great distance and thus will need to bring luggage.  Charging for this need is price gauging, plain and simple, and expecting travelers to drag heavy suitcases with them throughout the airport, and then try to cram it in the overhead compartment once on the plane just to save $25 is asinine.  Bury it in the cost of the ticket, charge only if there is a second bag, otherwise load it on the plane with a thank you and a smile. 

2 - The Exorbitant Cost Includes No Food or Drink

Let me first clarify that I am offered complimentary water or a non-alcoholic drink.  However, this free beverage is on the airline’s terms.  If I’m asleep or in the bathroom when the beverage cart wheels its way down the aisle I’m out of luck.  Plus, I’m not given a bottle, so I can’t take a sip at my leisure; I have to consume my complimentary 5 ounces of drink before the flight attendants make their way back down the aisle to collect the empty cup, otherwise I’m stuck balancing it between my knees for the rest of the flight.  It’s a similar experience with the food.  I remember a meal used to be offered on longer flights.  Now high-protein snacks and packaged produce are offered in its place, which would be OK if I didn’t have to spend an additional $9 on them.  Can airlines really no longer afford a package of peanuts anymore?  And where on Earth does almonds, cheese and a small bunch of grapes cost $9?  

3- Nothing but Bitching

I feel airlines try to make the flight as uncomfortable as possible.  I don’t think it was intentional, I think it was born from a combination of TSA regulations, client complaints, ever-changing technology and a ridiculously insane desire to drive down expenditures without passing the savings to passengers.  Inflight movies, radio stations and complimentary headphones are all long gone, so unless you bring these devices on the plane you’re out of luck in the entertainment department.  Also, there is no room for a person to sit (this kills me, since the seat is really what we’re paying for).  Two people must share one arm rest (which is awkward if you’re strangers) the recline option kinda gets you to lean back - maybe a bit - and there is no footrest to be found beneath the seat in front of you.  Basically we’re left sitting upright like private school children for the duration of the flight, and this seems to be what the airline wants because anytime someone stands the pilot or flight attendant comes on the loud speaker reminding people to remain seated and buckled in even if the seat belt light is off.

4 - Where’s My Hot Towel?

The air on an airplane is gross.  Its recycled composition is made up of morning breath, smoggy runway pollution, and subdued farts.  What lingers in the cabin is a heavy, dirty air that feels, smells, and tastes stale.  Airlines used to provide a hot towel that revitalized your face - even your energy - when you disembarked from the plane because they knew the air was gross.  Now they don’t care if you look and feel ragged when you exit the craft; you’re just cattle.  Cattle with a wallet.

Thank God in Heaven for Trains

Now I am on a train and the travel is delightful.  Truthfully, train travel holds nostalgia for me.  I was a young adult on a foreign continent and felt incredibly refined and grown up as I navigated the train system independently.  I traveled most of western Europe via train and let the sights roll past me like photographs on a Victorian viewfinder.  I saw small towns nestled in the slopes of the Alps, houses sleeping on the banks of the Rhine at night, and even big European cities bustling through the day.  When I sit in the seats of a train I am reminded of these travels and almost feel transported back to Germany, Italy, France, Prague and Switzerland.

But let's move from nostalgia back to comfort and convenience.  The windows on a train are huge – I can see everything. I have plenty of room to sit but I can get up and walk around if I want to without being given the stink eye.  The travel takes about as long as driving but I don’t need to contend with traffic and I can use the restroom without pulling off an exit.  For that matter, the bathroom is not cramped and there is an ample number of toilets.  The cost of a train ticket is substantially less than airline tickets and it includes complimentary beverages (I got two cans of soda and a bottle of water).  But, if I choose to pack food and drink I can bring them onboard without having them examined for explosives.  I’m not charged for luggage and I have plenty of room to store it.  I’m not told what devices I can and cannot use and I don’t need to take off my shoes or undergo an invasive examination to ensure I’m not a dangerous commuter.  Unless I’m going overseas or have limited time to travel, I think the train will be the way I travel from now on.   

If you haven't traveled by train, I highly recommend you give it a try.

The 3 Worst Results You Get from Search Engines

Sometimes, when I seek answers, I consult the internet.  We all have. There's the perception that online searches are convenient because the entire world, and all its information, is available at the "tips of our fingers" and at the "click of a mouse".  But it isn't always.  There are three search results that I typically see which are ultimately of no help whatsoever and I wish would just go away.

Worst search result # 1 - Links with links

At least this 404 Error page is funny
found on www.501st.com/

Talk about redundancy.  After entering in the right keyword and perhaps exploring several of the results, I find a link that looks promising so I click it.  Rather than arriving at a genuine website, I'm navigated to a page that provides an endless list of links.  Really?  Yeah that's what I want for my search results - more search results.  Listen, I can't spend all day clicking links.  I click a link because I want an answer - NOT more links to click. 

Look at it this way.  Pretend you have a map but get lost anyway, so you ask for help.  Instead of clarifying directions, the good Samaritan says: "maybe these will help" and hands you more maps.  This is what it's like when you get a page of links.  Oh, and it's even worse when the links on those pages just navigate me to a 404 Not Found Error.  I might as well be given directions through the construction route where all the streets are closed.

Worst search result # 2 - Keywords are in the meta description but not on the linking page

WTF?  Last summer I was hosting a barbeque and wanted to set up some fun water activities for my guests' kids.  So I searched "outdoor water activities for kids 6 to 12".  The immediate results yielded activities appropriate for beaches, pools or camps.  Because none of those were applicable to my situation I had to eliminate those phrases.  My new keyword search became: "outdoor water activities for kids 6 to 12 -beach -pool -camp".  I saw a result with this meta description:

Where's the content your meta
description said you had?

"Whether you're trying to get kids to burn off some steam, learn something new, or both, ... Fun Games for Children 7 to 12 · Fun Indoor Games for Kids 6 - 12 ... for Kids · Fun Outdoor Water Activities for Kids · Fun Outdoor Fall Activities for Kids ..."

Awesome.  I clicked on the link but I didn't see any water activities.  HUH?  In fact, I did a CTRL+F search to just find the word "water" anywhere on the page.  Nothing.  Why was I even routed here?! 

 

Worst search result # 3 - Online forums

 

Online forums have absolutely got to be the worst thing ever.  First of all, it's a lousy substitute for customer service.  Secondly, no there is no secondly, that's it.  Online forums are designed to be led by dissatisfied and frustrated customers in the hopes that their experiences will resolve the questions and concerns of their peers.  What kind of asinine logic is this?  It’s a case of the blind leading the blind.  I am especially irritated when I click on: “Questions? Contact us here” and am navigated to an FAQ page.  Yeah, FA-Q, too.  Then after that, when I don’t find my particular situation, I click on: "Still can't find what you're looking for?" and I’m taken to the online forum.
  

 
Sample Online Forum Discussion 

"The lock to my Suzuki SX4 is inoperable.  I click the button on my key chain clicker and my door but it won't unlock.  There is no key entry built on the hatch.  Has anyone else had this experience?  What was the cause of this issue and how was it fixed?"

• "Yeah I've got the same problem.  No one's been able to help."
• "Had my mechanic look at it.  Had to jerry-rig it to get it to work."
• "Something similar happened with my Dodge, but I hit a massive frost heave one day and it fixed itself."
• "*~*~*~*Subscribe to My YouTube Channel!*~*~*~*"
• "Have you tried to use the key entry on the hatch?"

Umm...none of these responses helped me.  Clearly didn't help - so, why post the comment?  I've yet to find an online forum that's truly a help.  Like I said, they are the worst. 

If search engines truly understood my search strategy they would omit these results altogether.  But they don't, so I have to work around them.  I find it ironic, though, that the more search engines are amended to make the online searches a more easy, convenient and user-friendly experience, the more frustrating the whole thing seems to become.  What do you think?

Could I Have Been Wrong About Walmart?

I hate Walmart. I joined the Boycott Walmart bandwagon about 6 years ago and haven't looked back. Simply driving into the parking lot causes me stress. The idea of having to battle for a parking space, battle for a carriage, battle for a place in line at a register got my fight or flight instincts circulating. I was always ready to fight. Employee or fellow shopper I didn't care; give me lip and I'll fatten it.

What the hell? That isn't me! What was it about Walmart that turned me into such a vile creature?

I suppose it's because I was, in a sense, a prisoner of Walmart. I needed to purchase things and Walmart was the place to do that. Yet many of the items I purchased didn't last. They'd chip, shrink, snap, snag, warp, wear, or fade so easily. 'How frustrating', I'd think after pulling a newly purchased Walmart sweater from the washer, 'I just bought this sweater and it's already unraveling. I've only worn it twice.' That's your plan, though, isn't it Walmart? Why build things to last when you know people are willing to open their wallets and replace instead of repair? It's attractive to offer lower-priced items but the catch is they need to be replaced sooner. Although Walmart items seemed inferior I continued to buy there because it was cheap. It was also convenient. I'd get in, get what I'd need, and get out.

Except, I never really ever did get in and get out. The stores were giant, and getting around wasn't as easy as it seemed. Isles were crowded with heavy-set women pushing blue carriages that were packed with junk food and screaming toddlers. You knew these women, too, just wanted to get in and out, but the appealing toys, snacks and books placed with intention at a child's eye level prevented the moms, the women, to shop efficiently. They'd yell at the children each time they grabbed for something. And the children always grabbed for something, because that's what children do. What strategic placement. "Put that down! I ain't buying that for you, we ain't got the money." As she reaches for some Allen's Coffee Brandy.

The 20 cash registers on the front end seemed impressive, until you realized only 3 were open. When I approached the cash register I'd attempt a dialogue, but the cashier would be too embittered by the malevolent treatment Walmart and rude customers dished out she wasn't at all interested in chatting. The cashiers always made that clear. As I left the store to battle cars over the crosswalk an employee wanted to see my receipt and the receipt of every other customer. Way to trust your clientele, Walmart.

One day I had an epiphany. I needed to grab a couple of collapsible lawn chairs and I dreaded the thought of having to enter Walmart. I just didn't want the drama. A Rite Aid was located further down the road; I decided to drive there instead. The collapsible lawn chairs Rite Aid sold to me were priced about the same as the chairs I would have bought from Walmart. Granted these were on sale, but if they hadn't been on sale I would have only spent a couple more bucks. Was coughing up a fraction more of my hard earned money worth avoiding the misery that was shopping at Walmart?

Yes.

I began finding a plethora of alternative places to shop besides Walmart and I never looked back.

Then the other night I was out with some friends when I happened to take a nasty fall on my way back to the car. I lay crumpled on the pavement for a moment, mustering up the bravery to glance at my knees which were scraped up hard and bleeding with an increasing intensity. My friend, Candice helped me hobble to my car where I opened the glovebox and pulled out a handful of napkins and some Band-Aids. I was keeping my cool until I noticed a large flap of skin hanging down from my right knee.

"Candice, do you think I should go the hospital? Do you think I need stitches?"

"No," she answered, "They'll just clean you up and send you on your way. That's what we're doing now. They're going to tell you to ice them too, so you should get some ice."

"It's 9:00 at night, where am I going to get some first-aid ice packs?"

"There's a Walmart right across the street," she answered.

Walmart. Maybe I'd wait until I got home, but that was a 45 mile drive. My knees were beginning to sting and swell. It would be advantageous to ice them now. I scrolled through my mental Rolodex trying to think of some place, any place that would be open this late at night and would sell me what I needed. I didn't have too much time to ponder. I needed ice and bandages now. Walmart would have these items. Walmart was across the street. Walmart was open. Walmart, at that moment, would come to my rescue.

I thanked Candice for her help and drove to the dreaded store.

As I headed over I anticipated the rudeness with which I would inevitably be confronted. I also knew that although the store was open that didn't mean there would be people around to assist. The last thing I wanted to do was limp around the endless isles looking for bandages and ice packs. I decided to approach the greeter, show her my bloody knees and tell her I needed someone who could take me directly to the first-aid items.

When I did this the first words out of her mouth were: "Did you fall in our parking lot?"

I'm fine Walmart, thanks for asking.

"No," I said, "I fell across the street. But I'm hurt pretty bad. I'm not familiar with the store and don't want to walk around. I'd really like for someone to walk with me and show me where the bandages are."

The greeter looked down at my knees and then panned the front end for an available associate. There were slim pickings, as I knew there would be, and she cast her gaze back to me.

"Well," she said, "I know there are some Band-Aids in the furthest isle down on the left. If you look all the way down, that's where the Band-Aids are." She walked to the end of the two nearest isles and extended her arm and index finger into a point. "All the way down here."

I was incredulous. Calmly, I repeated: "I really would like someone to walk with me. I'll wait."

The greeter left her post, which she was also hesitant to do. I stood in the entry dabbing away the blood as it oozed from my knees. I was surprised that she was more concerned with leaving the doors unattended than she was about my welfare. What would happen to her, realistically, if suspended her role as an employee for two minutes to help me? Did Walmart have such a hold over her as well? Sad, sad sad.

The shift leader approached me in a hurry. She was visually shaking with concern over my situation. "Oh my God, are you ok? Do you want one of our motorized carriages so you don't have to walk?"

I beamed. This lady was wonderfully kind! "Thanks, no, I'll walk. I just want to get some bigger Band-Aids on my knees and to get some ice. I don't know my way around the store and figured someone who worked here could get them faster than I could." We walked to the isle where the Band-Aids were stocked (which, by the way, was not the last isle on the left.) I choose the size I thought would be appropriate. She opened the box so I could adhere them to my wound immediately. "Don't worry about paying for them first. I'm not worried about it." We were unsuccessful in finding ice packs so she suggested instead I buy a block of ice.

"How am I going to ice my knees with an entire block of ice?" I asked.

"We'll bag up some for you," she said. We walked back to the front end where she opened a register just for me. A couple other customers approached the register and began to unload their purchases from their carriages onto the belt. "This register isn't open," she quipped, "I'm helping this lady right now." Sweet.

Together the shift leader and I triple-bagged up two bags of ice. All the while, she continuously asked how I was. Did my knees hurt real bad? Did I have a long drive? Did I need anything else? How nice to have such a kind and helpful person tending to me. I thanked her over and over for her help. It wasn't as though she had saved my life, but she certainly helped to make an uncomfortable circumstance be more pleasant. I limped out of the store carrying my bags of ice and bandages. As I passed the greeter I smiled and said: "Thank you. I'm all set now." She glanced quickly in my direction, but when she saw it was me, she avoided eye contact and turned up her nose.

Fucking Walmart.