SCENE - Exterior, Mazy’s home. Mazy is sitting at a patio table near her
driveway.
JANE Hi
Mazy
MAZY Hey
Jane. What have you got?
JANE I
went to the store today and they were giving away free games of Scrabble.
MAZY Free? Really?
JANE Yeah. I guess there are some advertisements in it
but other than that, it was a free game.
MAZY Oh
that’s cool. Do you want to play?
JANE Sure!
Jane and Mazy open the
box of Scrabble and set up a game.
Improvise dialogue: How many game pieces? Who goes first? Do you play
where you can just add an “s”? Do you
have a dictionary in case we challenge?
Do you accept slang? Who wants to
keep score? Etc.
MAZY (Plays the word DOG) OK, you’re turn.
Enter a dog, wearing a
sign that says: “Like dogs? Click here
for great savings on dog supplies!”
MAZY What
is that?
JANE (Turns to look) Oh, it must be one of
the ads.
MAZY Oh. Well, I don't have a dog and I’m not interested in shopping for dog
toys.
JANE Right. (To
DOG) Go on, get! (DOG leaves) Alright, my turn. (Jane
plays the word TRAVELED. Enter a man wearing a safari outfit and a necklace with a
large emblem that hangs near his chest.)
SAFARI MAN Enjoy
traveling? Click here (indicates to emblem) for great travel
destinations.
MAZY I
can’t afford any trips right now.
SAFARI MAN Compare
and save rates on flight, hotels, car rentals and nightlife!
MAZY Can
you leave us alone please? We just want
to play a game of Scrabble. (SAFARI MAN leaves)
JANE Your
turn, Mazy.
MAZY OK. Let’s see… (Mazy plays the word WEIGHT)
Loud hip hop music
begins to play and rapidly crescendos to an unbearable volume.
JANE (Yelling over music) What the Hell is
that?
MAZY (Yelling) I think it’s another one of
the ads.
Enter muscular man in
workout clothes. He is carrying a
boom-box and is wearing a wide black and sequined champion belt with a large button.
MUSCLE MAN Click here
to get into the best shape of your life!
(Gestures toward button on belt)
JANE & MAZY NO!
MUSCLE MAN looks
disappointed, then, with restored confidence, flexes a variety of muscles
hoping to change the girls’ minds.
JANE We’re
just trying to play a game here, would you leave us alone? (MUSCLE
MAN leaves)
MAZY These
ads are a little annoying, Jane.
JANE Well,
it’s a free game. I guess they’ve got to
make their money somehow.
MAZY I
think they made their money back already.
Do the ads ever stop?
JANE I
don’t know. They’re not so bad. I know they’re annoying but they don’t last
long. Let’s just keeping playing. Whose turn?
MAZY (Looks at board) Your turn
JANE (Plays the word SINGLE)
Enter a gorgeous young
woman scantily dressed with impressive cleavage.
WOMAN Are
you single?
JANE I’m
married (flashes wedding band)
MAZY I’m
dating someone.
WOMAN (To neither in particular) Do you want
to flirt?
MAZY Not
with a woman.
JANE No.
WOMAN Click
here (points to the center of her ample
bosom) to talk to sexy hot singles in your area.
JANE Please
go away. (WOMAN leaves)
MAZY plays the word FEVER
and WOMAN returns.
WOMAN Are
you single?
MAZY Weren’t
you just here?
WOMAN Do
you want to flirt?
MAZY Go
away already!
WOMAN Click
here (points to her crotch) to talk
to sexy hot singles in your area.
JANE I’m
going to throw this dictionary at you if you don’t leave now.
WOMAN scampers away
MAZY Who
uses ads to flirt anyway?
JANE I
don’t know. It must be like the personals or phone sex. My turn. (Plays the
word GAME)
Enter businessman in
pale blue suit with a yellow striped tie.
He is carrying a stack of board games.
BUSINESSMAN Do you
enjoy Scrabble? Try other games by Milton Bradley! (BUSINESSMAN
continues his spiel, but MAZY and JANE pretend to ignore him. Adlib).
We have games to challenge intellect, pit yourselves against your
friends, or simply to offer a night of hilarity. Whatever your interest, Milton Bradley games
are perfect for people of all ages.
MAZY I’m
not going to play anymore games by Milton Bradley if they have as many annoying
ads between plays.
JANE I’m
thinking I should have just bought the game.
This is ridiculous.
MAZY I
wish we could just play a game without them.
It really disrupts the fun.
BUSINESSMAN has
finished talking and is staring blankly at JANE & MAZY
JANE You
can go now. (BUSINESSMAN leaves)
MAZY I
don’t even know whose turn it is anymore.
JANE It’s
your turn. I just played ‘game’.
MAZY OK. Right.
(Plays the word HERBS)
Enter a thin 30-something brunette wearing a white apron and holding grilling utensils.
CHEF Looking
for the best way to flavor up your meat?
JANE & MAZY NO!
JANE (To Mazy) Barbeque ads now? What's the point? Are we really expected to stop our game to shop? If we wanted to shop we'd be shopping, not playing a board game. Seriously. (At CHEF) Go away. (CHEF leaves. JANE plays the word BODY.)
MAZY Look
who’s back.
Enter WOMAN.
WOMAN Are
you single? (Holds hand up to her face in protective gesture. MAZY
& JANE stare at her incredulously.
WOMAN, not being interrupted, smiles widely, hops a bit in excitement
and continues.)
WOMAN Do
you want to flirt? (MAZY & JANE remain silent.
Confidence increases in WOMAN and she continues).
WOMAN Click
here (grabs her chest and squeezes
tightly) to talk to sexy hot singles in your area. (She blows
a kiss and smiles stupidly. A stylish
car pulls into the driveway and out pops an attractive young man.)
YOUNG MAN Check out
great deals for the new Honda Accord!
JANE Do
you want to go for a walk instead?
MAZY Yeah
MAZY & JANE get up
to leave. They walk past WOMAN who is
still holding onto her cleavage, her spirit begins to dampen. As JANE and MAZY exit the frame, the young
man approaches woman.
YOUNG MAN Hey
WOMAN Hi. (She
squeezes breasts a little tighter). Wanna flirt?
YOUNG MAN and WOMAN
kiss and collapse on the hood of the car kissing and groping. Camera zooms out and up. JANE AND MAZY walk away from the scene. DOG, MUSCLEMAN, CHEF and BUSINESSMAN all
walk back onto the scene and intermingle.
Fade to black.
