The Best Interview Ever

I don't want to cause confusion.  This blog isn't about the best interview I ever gave, it's the best interview I ever conducted.  And it isn't because the interviewee was stellar and impressive, it was because of the sheer irony of the interview.  Here's how it went down:

I used to work as a secretary for a hardwood flooring store.  It was a pretty good gig, except for the solidarity but when we ran ads for flooring installers there was plenty of foot traffic.  Although experience was preferred it wasn't necessary.  I would stress this to the applicants, saying it was easier to train installers to our level of standard when there was no preexisting experience, but they always wanted to illustrate that they had competency.  Most of the time they would say they had worked in a construction environment - fine.

"So no flooring experience then?" I would say to clarify to them that their experience and floor installation weren't actually the same thing.

After the applicants completed the application, and if the application was legible and intelligible (there was once a man who misspelled his hometown), I would conduct a preliminary interview.  This one time when we ran a help wanted ad, someone stopped in to apply.  The process was the same as it always had been: he completed the application, I reviewed it, it was filled out intelligibly, so I started asking him questions to further qualify him as a potential employee.  None of this was out of the ordinary. 

It wasn't until he began to answer my questions that it became the best interview ever.  Ready? I asked the applicant why he should be considered for hire and he replied "Because I'm really good with my hands."

I could have believed him because he had an long history of construction work.  But there was something off.  He continued to explain his detailed work history, but my focus was fading from his words and focusing on his hands.  See, language is an interesting thing.  A simple word or phrase can cause a person to take action.  When this applicant said he was good with his hands, I was drawn to look at them.  When I looked at them, I couldn't stop staring...

Staring...

Staring at his index finger whose tip was missing.  The skin of his finger was folded and healed like the end of a hot dog.  He tapped the stub of his finger on the desk as he spoke.  "Yup, I've worked in construction for years, and I'm really good with my hands."

Not that day, I thought.

Needless to say the man wasn't hired.  I did tell my boss about him and we had a pretty good laugh.

"If he loses a finger on a good day I'd hate to see what happens on a bad day," he said.

What can we take from all of this?  When we arrive at a potential employer's location to sell ourselves as a great candidate, we need to choose our words wisely and not try to bullshit our way into hire.  Our lies might not be as apparent as a stubby finger on the guy who claimed to be good with his hands, but if we claim our skills lie where they actually don't, we're not doing anyone any favors.